


Through the Valley

by CryoInferno



Category: Monument Valley (Video Game)
Genre: My First Fanfic, POV First Person, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Vomiting, no beta we die like gamers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26181988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CryoInferno/pseuds/CryoInferno
Summary: Ida, a young girl, wakes up in the distant mountains.From her first steps across the hallowed ground, she knows that something isn't right.She knows she did something, but the memories are hazy, and painful to recollect.She stole something. She has to put it back.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 5





	1. The Valley (In which Ida begins her journey)

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It feels empty. I feel whole. I feel bad, but it was worth it. But what was it that I did?

I try to remember.

I can't.

it hurts

* * *

I keep my eyes shut, faint teardrops dripping down my face. I never have dreams. Or nightmares. But I suppose tonight was different. I should wake up. My eyes flutter open, soft sunset light filtering through the mountains.

Wait, mountains?

There's no mountains close to my town.

I shoot up, one hand on my heart, the other on my cone-shaped hat. The sky shines turquoise, an unnatural color, but beautiful nonetheless.

How did I... Get here?

I slowly stand up, squinting my eyes. A giant valve seems to be connected to something. The floor, maybe? I stare at it, my silvery eyes looking into it's smooth stone.

It turns.

I gasp. Am I psychic now? I try to levitate my hat, but... Nothing. God, I'm so stupid. Why did I think that would work? I punch myself. The valve has stopped turning. I walk along the pathway, ending up higher than where I started.

Wait, aren't I on the same level? I step onto a small, separate path, and look back. It's a... Triangle? Wait no, it can't be. But is it? It definitely has the shape of one, but it only has one side? But no, it's three? This place makes no sense. I sigh softly. It's really the only way I can sigh. I walk up to a lotus-like platform, subconsciously taking off my hat.

Surprisingly, something floats out of it! A slowly rotating square floats above the platform. It looks kind of pretty, in a strange way. So pretty. So beautiful. I could look at this for hours, it's just soooo mesmerizing. Wait! I'm remembering something! I remember...

Stealing... it...?

What? I would never do that! Well... I'm already such a bad person, so... I need to stop. I have to stop hating myself so much. I sit on the side of the lotus, looking out into the valley. A name floats into my head.

Monument Valley.

I guess that's what it's called. The light near the mountains is fading now, from orange into a pretty shade of blue. I've always liked blue. Mostly light blue though. Dark blue can be scary sometimes. I like light colors. Light green, yellow, orange, white. White is the brightest. That's why I wear it. Dark colors scare me. I close my eyes, and think about my town. The people there.

And wonder why they hate me.

I mean, am I really that weird? Nobody else there wears dresses like I do. Is it because of my hat? Maybe it's my eyes... Yeah. I've always hated my eyes. That's it. But they don't act like it, maybe it's my skin instead? Nobody else there is as pale as I am. Everyone talks so much too. And I almost never do. Why is everyone so loud? What's wrong with talking normally? Am I always 'whispering' to them? Is that what they call my volume? And nobody understands my signing.

And then there's my parents. They're always trying to get me to talk louder, and don't care how much blood I cough up trying. They force me into groups with other kids too. Nobody in them even wants to look at me. And whenever they talk to me, it's in harsh tones, usually threatening.

And now I'm crying.

My tears fall into the valley below, so far down I can't see the bottom. I crawl onto the lotus, and curl up. I'm already tired. Yet another thing that makes people think I'm weird. I don't have a 'sleep schedule' like other people, I just stay awake for an hour or two, sleep for an hour, and repeat. Why don't other people do that? It lets you stay up through the whole day, not just sunlight. Even though the dark scares me. But seeing the sunrise every day is worth it.

I close my eyes, and drift off to sleep.


	2. The Garden (In which Ida embarks on a quest for forgiveness)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY EPIC
> 
> Ida discovers that this valley is a lot more strange than she first thought.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Screaming. It's not mine. They don't want me to take it.

They can't stop me.

I'm in control.

* * *

I wake up, stretching my arms and legs in unison, letting out a tiny yawn. Opening my eyes, I can definitely tell I'm not in the same place anymore. Somewhere else in the valley, probably.

...So that wasn't a dream. I push myself up onto my feet, slowly taking in my new surroundings. It's much greener, tall bushes casting shadows on the yellow-green ground. I mentally dub this place 'The Garden'. It's nice to have names for everything, it makes keeping track of them a lot easier. Like which groups of other kids don't mind me being around. Or on what days my parents drink that weird stuff and hit me more. Useful stuff like that.

I see another valve in the center, attached to what looks like an L-shaped platform. I stare at it, and it begins to turn. So apparently I only have telepathy with valves. Strange. It turns away from me, which I don't want. I spin my finger, like I'm trying to nonverbally describe a tornado, 'willing' it to turn the other way. Soon enough, I have a pathway to a small platform. I make the note of 'I can turn valves my spinning my finger' in my head.

I walk over to it, looking around me. Specifically up. It looks like the platform I'm going to walk across would connect to another kind of platform, which would form a square with the darker one. I can barely make out another lotus platform, high above. I feel a kind of calling, like a primal urge to return something to it.

I collapse. My head feels like it's splitting open. And I... Remember something.

Fleeting visions of stealing a variety of shapes (Sacred geometry, I think to myself) flood my mind. The feeling of shoving them inside of my hat. The sound of giant crows screaming.

And an overwhelming sense of guilt.

The visions let up, my eyes still shut tight. I slowly open them, take off my hat, and look inside of it. I can see a bright blue cube, glowing softly. "this monument's sacred geometry..." I say to myself. I might not remember it well, but I stole this. I have to put it back where it belongs.

But it's just so pretty...

I finally walk across the dark platform, the arms of the valve vanishing with a grind as I step on it, shooting back out as I arrive at the smaller platform. It has a built-in ladder on it's side, which I climb down, leading to a button on the floor. I step on it, and it sinks into the ground. Another small platform rises up out of the ground, with another button on it. I walk back to where I awoke, recognizing that I can't get there from the first button, and lean against the wall. It can't hurt to admire the scenery for a bit.

* * *

After a few minutes of looking around, listening to the birds singing, the flowers blooming, and generally doing nothing, I will the path to turn to the second button. It turns easily, the grinding sound of refined stone sliding together soothing me.

I walk across, onto the button, and stand on it. The path rises into the air, making the perfect square with the platform above, like I expected. I will it to turn, and it perfectly lines up with the end of my platform. But still leads to one end of the upper one. I make the note of 'geometry here makes absolutely no sense' in my head. The triangle thing at the start was acceptable I guess, but this? This is just absurd.

I walk up... Or across... Ugh... I walk to the lotus platform, taking note of the valve's disappearance as I make contact with what it's affecting. It seems like the valve can only be used if I'm not touching whatever it affects.

Under the shadow of an orange rooftop, I hold out my hat to the lotus. The cube floats out of it, just like the square, hovering above the platform. I curl up under the shape once again, and reflect on this place so far.

My selective telepathy, while currently only useful in specific situations, could be very useful in other places. Anything with a valve-like attachment that turns, I could spin without even laying a finger on it. Or was that just the valley being strange? Probably. As for the strange geometry, I still can't wrap my head around it. Is that another one of the things I can do, like turning valves? Or is it the valley's natural state? Perhaps I'll never know.

I close my eyes, and let sleep overtake me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the cube, the CUBE
> 
> the cube is all
> 
> -Cinder


	3. The Hidden Temple (In which Ida has an unexpected meeting)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida meets a certain ghost, and tries to make sense of the strange world she's been thrown into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was in the middle of this and then i realized that i waS WRITING THE WATER PALACE
> 
> so with the power of ctrl+x, that's now chapter 4, and here's the correct chapter
> 
> -Cinder

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It's beautiful. I could never put it down.

But what if someone makes me?

What if I have to?

* * *

I wake up in yet another monument. I'm detecting a theme here.

I take a look around. Yellow fog surrounds me, with those same kinds of bulbous roofs poking out. Two towers stretch high above me, multicolored flags flying from their tops.

There's another built-in ladder next to me, and a bunch of blocks that look like they could move. I climb up, standing on the edge of the tiny platform, and hold out my hand to the block on the opposite side of the monument. I pull my hand back, and the block moves with it. I spend a little while pushing and pulling it back and forth, before riding it across.

I climb up another ladder, and the process repeats. Now, there's something unfamiliar.

A door.

I can't see the inside of it, it's completely black.

I steel my nerves, and walk in. I come out on the ledge above the bottom door. "huh?" I say in surprise. I should be used to this place's weirdness by now. I see a block next to me, and I throw my arm downwards. The new platform rushes down to my level. I hop on, and step on a switch. The top of my tower and the opposite one both turn, revealing a pathway to a third door.

Wait a minute.

Those paths weren't there before.

Strange.

I now notice that the button I'm standing on is on a very thin ledge. I quickly walk across the bridge, across the new one, and into the door.

I arrive in a dark gray room, with no sign of the door I came out of. I walk up a flight of stairs, turn to the right, and am faced with a light blue ghost.

Naturally, I squeak.

"Long have these old bones waited in darkness." The ghost says. "How far have you wandered, Silent Princess?"

"Why are you here?"

"i stole something... i have to put it back..." I respond. The ghost says nothing. A platform slides upwards to my left. Then another. Then an entire monument rises out of the void. I look at the gray structure with wonder. Nothing like that has happened before.

But it's also dark here, so I want to stay here as little as possible.

I climb one ladder, walk a few steps, then climb another. A few more steps, and I'm on the structure. The platforms I climbed to get here descend down, where I could never see them. I walk to a bridge on my right, but it crumbles away. I jump.

Typical Ida, breaking everything you touch.

I see a discolored block on the ground. I look over the edge, and see that it's the top of a gray totem. I spot a movable block. Just because I can, I move it downwards. In turn, that makes my totem rise upwards, letting me walk onto the ledge past the broken bridge.

"wait..." I say. More geometry that makes no sense.

I quickly will the block to move back where it started, and the totem retreats into the ground. There's another movable block, which I slide, moving a block to just above where I can reach. I move it the other way, allowing another block to move down to my level. I step on, letting myself rise, and walk onto the block previously just a little too tall. I rise again.

A simple button stands next to me, which I gladly push. The block in front of me splits in two, revealing that it was actually two stairs stacked on top of each other. Clever.

I walk up to the lotus, pulling off my hat. Another one of the sacred geometry floats out. A cube within a cube. "tesseract..." I mumble. I suppose I also have the power of knowing the names of whatever geometrical shape I come across. I sit down on the lotus, and take note of everything I've discovered so far.

Geometry makes no sense, and seems to mess with perspective a lot. That's good to know. I can move certain kinds of things, like valves and blocks. The blocks have to be separate from their surroundings, and the valves disappear when I touch whatever it is they turn. I stole sacred geometry from this place, and I have to give it back. All good to know.

I yawn quietly, and rest my head on the platform. When I wake up, I'll probably be in another monument.

But for now, sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no end notes haha get gamed
> 
> -Cinder


	4. The Water Palace (In which Ida discovers new ways to walk)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the valley continues to twist and turn, Ida learns to turn with it.
> 
> A shame it comes at a cost. However temporary it may be.
> 
> (this one has self-harm and blood in it, you have been warned)

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I'm hidden. They can't find me.

I can't find myself either.

But now they're angry. And now I'm scared.

I'm not in control.

* * *

I blink my eyes open, slowly adjusting to the bright light above me. Like with the rest of the monuments, I take a look around. I'm in the middle of a large lake, giant lilypads floating above the calming blue. Some of the pads have small pink flowers blooming on them. I like small things. I know they can't hurt me like big things can.

I look behind where I woke up, and see a giant, person-sized and shaped crow. It just looks at me. And for some reason, I find it familiar. I walk up two flights of stairs, and see something I can move, all in pink. I turn it's platform to me, step on, and rotate it over to a button. So looks like I can rotate some things I'm standing on, just nothing with valves.

I focus my sight on my hand as I do it, and it seems to be glowing. It glows the same shade of blue as the geometry I've returned so far. I try to turn it with my mind, but nothing.

I guess I've lost that ability. It's fine though, I prefer doing it with my hand anyway. It's more fun.

I step on the button, and a platform to my right rotates. I step back onto the moving one, and turn myself to the newly-rotated pathway. I walk along it, noting the fact it made another 'impossible triangle' like the first monument, leading me to end up at the top. I rotate it one more time, walking through a pure-black doorway.

no no NO i should have stopped

I end up almost falling into the water below, just barely catching myself as a pink bridge rises out of the depths.

That was too close.

I tentatively walk across the newly-formed bridge, starting to hurry as I see the previous segments float up into the sky behind me. Another monument greets me. Are they part of the same, or are they separate? Maybe a series?

As I subconsciously walk across the greyish-brown ridge, I step on a button. The ground beneath me begins to shake. I huddle down, preparing for an earthquake.

The ground turns.

I panic.

i'm going to die i'm going to die i'm goinG TO DIE

I don't fall.

I'm standing perfectly on the side of the path.

I look to my right in wonder, looking 'down' at the water that's now a wall. I slowly, very slowly, begin to walk along the side of the structure, walking along stairs that would be sideways to anyone else. I can just barely see some circular studs on a block, the valley's indication of something I can move. I move it, revealing a barely visible staircase that was there as well. I walk down, pressing a button on the wall. Floor? Wall? Same thing right now.

My block rotates around, placing me at the back of the monument. I subconsciously walk across a kind of curving ramp, only realizing I'm not falling off halfway across. So... Ramps let me change the direction of my gravity? I suppose that makes sense, given the information I've been given about this valley.

Which is none.

I walk across a path, and stand at a tiny ledge above a waterfall's pool. I can somehow... Sense something that I can turn, and I do. Suddenly, the mirrored ledge that was high above, is now right in front of me. I walk across, look back, and the previous ledge looks far down now. I shake my head, and continue on.

* * *

I walk up a flight of stairs, my gravity thankfully returned to normal, and see another pink bridge rise out of the water. I hurry across, holding onto my hat tightly. I don't want to fall off into the water. I walk off of the bridge, and onto another pink object. This time, it's a long strip of land, which I rotate to connect with another path. I walk along, rotating a second path, the lotus barely in sight. I see a door, leading straight down into blackness. I'm a little disoriented, but I walk through.

I'm in another black, white, and grey abyss (is monochrome the word?), with the same ghost as before floating on a corner. There's a waterfall 'intertwined' with it, the water falling onto it's other end, creating an infinite loop. It reminds me of a painting I saw once. Maybe one my grandpa made? He always liked making paintings like that. This valley reminds me of his paintings, actually. Like I'm walking through one. Maybe he came here too.

I walk up to the ghost, tentatively putting my hand where their shoulder would be. "This was the valley of men. Now all that remains is their monuments, stripped of their glories." They lament.

"Thieving princess, why have you returned?" They spit.

I lower my head, and walk through the doorway.

I arrive at the path to the lotus, eyes downcast. A spot of the path is wet, but I don't care.

I keep walking.

I place my foot on the wet spot.

I slip.

And fall into the lake.

* * *

I'm so mad. Everything was going perfectly fine, but then I just had to screw it all up. I look at the pink strip that I had just fallen off of, zooming away as the water rushes me back to the very start. I tear my hat off, ripping out the 'sacred' geometry that I'm meant to return. An Octahedron. Or whatever it's called. I don't care.

What matters is that it's sharp.

I drag it violently across my arm, red streaks running down it. I hiss with pain. It burns.

Good.

I do it again. I want to scream. I don't. Again. The water is stained red. I do scream this time. Now my mouth is bleeding too. It hurts more.

Good.

The water crashes me onto the first isle, everything about the monument reverting to how it was at the very start. I grit my teeth as hard as I can. "one more time." I whisper. I bring the shape up high.

Nothing.

I can't bring myself to do it. I try to bring it down. My good arm falters.

"you're such a coward ida. too scared of a little cut?" I taunt myself. "do it."

I bring it down. Blood splashes everywhere, as I screech as loud as I can, burying the shape deep into my arm.

I can't move my arm.

I pull it out as hard as I can, accidentally rolling it into my blood-soaked hat. Tears start flooding across the ruined floor.

I ruined it.

I'm such a mistake.

I ruined the geometry, the monument, and myself.

I don't want to live.

I want to die.

My vision is blurry now. Good.

I t ' s w h a t I d e s e r v e.

My eyes are... S-so heavy... I'm... S-so t-t-tired...

* * *

I wake up in a pool of tears and blood. I stand up slowly, now ready to tackle the puzzles again.

There's nobody around to pity me. I don't want anyone's worthless pity anyway. It's always so... Patronizing.

I practically sleepwalk through the monument, holding my hat tight to my shivering body. Valves turn and buttons are pushed.

I walk up to the lotus, accidentally scraping my arm against a pillar. I scream, blood spurting from my mouth as I do so.

I quickly hold out my ha with one arm, the geometry floating over to the lotus. I curl up underneath it, cradling my damaged arm. I know it'll heal in a few hours (I guess that's another reason everyone hates me), but it still hurts. I forcibly shut my eyes, tears streaming down.

It takes far too long for me to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "There's no feeling more intense than starting over. If you've deleted your homework the day before it was due, as I have, or if you left your wallet at home and you have to go back, after spending an hour in the commute, if you won some money at the casino and put all your winnings on red, and it came up black, if you got your best shirt dry-cleaned before a wedding and then immediately dropped food on it, if you won an argument with a friend and then later discovered that they just returned to their original view, starting over is harder than starting up." -that fucking asshole who made the shithead game
> 
> -Cinder


	5. The Spire (In which Ida encounters the bothersome crow people)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida learns a valuable lesson; never trust someone at first sight.
> 
> (more blood warning but less violent)

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Screaming. It's mine this time.

Everything hurts.

Is this my punishment?

* * *

I'm awake again.

A giant tower looms in front of me, stretching far into the sky. A spire.

Giant bird people, the same kind as that one in the Water Palace, walk along the pathways, without a care in the world. Feathers flutter off of them. I walk up to one, reaching out my hand to greet them. I'm so nervous, my hand is shaking.

They scream at me.

I jump back instinctively, a shriek of fear escaping my pale lips. My throat hurts now. I start coughing up blood again.

I hate the crows.

They're so loud. I hate noise. I hate it so much. The crow keeps screaming at me, and I hide on a tiny staircase. It passes, letting me press a button, which reveals a valve. Spinning my arm quickly, I hurry past the crows, stepping on another button. I walk back down, not noticing the other crow in front of me.

It screams even louder than the other one.

Even when I'm not in front of them, they're always cawing at each other. I just want them to shut up. I quickly run past, fast as I can, in the shadow of a doorway. In here, I can rest.

And think about how much the crows suck.

A few tears are dripping down my face now, through the curtain of jet-black hair that hides me from the world. Why are they so mean? I just wanted to say hi, maybe make a friend... No, not that one. Is my way of greeting people weird? I mean, what else would you do other than putting your hand on someone's shoulder? Is there another thing that people do instead? Like one of those 'hand-shakes' people back home always do?

Whatever. This is probably my fault, just like everything else. I would rather walk through a hundred more of these monuments than get screamed at by a crow again. "mean..." I say to myself, barely audible to anyone else listening. I get up again, and walk through the doorway.

My eyes easily adjust to the darkness. I'm a bit weird that way. I'm scared of the dark, but like seeing in it more than anywhere else. Except for maybe sunset. I love sunset. It's always so calming.

The surroundings are a deep blue, save for the monument I find myself on, which is a bright shade of green. I step out of the door I came from, and instantly start shivering. Not because it's cold, but because I can sense something.

Something… Turnable.

I step off of the maroon platform, turn to the right, and spin my finger. The platform that's now behind me flips around, as a pathway up ahead does the same, removing a crow from my path. I take a step forwards, and hear an ear-splitting caw directly in my ear. I run as fast as I can, up the stairs, and trip face-first onto a button.

I'm such an idiot. I slam my arm onto the ground.

I can tell there's another thing I can rotate, but it turns the top of the monument by itself. The wall is cold as I keep my hand on it while walking past, turning the valve I can't see to remove the crow from my path. I walk all the way up the stairs, ducking down when I see a crow. I bet lots of kids my age would be scared of the crows. Probably just because they're different, though. They never like people who are too different than them.

I'm just scared because of their volume.

The crow turns around when it reaches the stairs, and I instinctively turn the valve again, trapping it inside the monument. I walk across, sitting down on the edge of the door, taking in my surroundings another time before I leave. I feel bad about the crow, so I let it out, freeing it to walk wherever it wants to.

I end up staring at it. And staring. And staring. Oh, what I'd give to be like that... I've never felt fully comfortable in my body. Like something's missing. I don't hate my body, but it just doesn't feel right. Maybe a body like that, I would feel better in? Maybe I could tape things to myself, act like them for a bit, but I'm too scared to try. I walk through the doorway, plunging my thoughts into darkness.

I step out, and inhale sharply. Sunset light illuminates the monument where I'm standing from below, lighting it up orange. It fades to pink above me, the shadows taking on a blue tone. Crows sit on the edges, cawing occasionally. It's the most beautiful place I've ever been.

I can see an easy path to a door, but I don't care. Right now, I just want to relax. I sit down, just like the crows around me, and take off my hat, setting it to the side. It's a beautiful sight, the valley, seeing the tips of the mountains glitter with snow. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen any rain in this place so far. Maybe I just missed it. Far below, a lake shimmers with light. I can just make out the Water Palace.

I pull out my switchblade from the inside of my dress.

The spring is long dead, but a flick gets it open fine. I slowly place the cold metal on my forearm. My breathing gets faster for a second, before I calm myself down.

I drag the knife across my skin, gently, though still strong enough to draw blood. I start hyperventilating again, but after another few cuts, my breathing slows.

It's… Strange, how I feel whenever I start to cut myself. I don't know what kind of twisted pleasure I get from it, or why. Also, it always calms me down, for whatever reason. If I'm feeling panicked, or angry, when I start doing it, those feelings go away. Maybe it's me taking out my feelings on myself, and that gets rid of them. Maybe it's something to remind me that I'm still in control, even over such a tiny thing. I close my eyes, as blood slowly trickles down my arm.

It feels nice. Even though it hurts.

I look down, and sigh. I got carried away again, and now my whole arm is riddled with cuts. I slowly wipe off my knife, flick it closed, and put it back in my dress. I know that it's an awful habit to have, but it's the only thing that helps when I get too anxious.

I stand up, ready to continue.The pathway to the door is still there, nothing changed while I was zoning out. I walk across the path, avoiding the eyes of the crows, and step inside.

Another monument, this time comprised of tons of pathways. It's colored green, like the last non-spire one, but the other was mostly a square, while this is just a crisscross of bridges.

A crow walks along my only way forward, but a quick turn of a valve fixes that problem, locking it on a tiny platform to my right. I walk across the long, now-cleared path, through a black door.

That door deposits me high above it, on another platform. A crow lies in my way, walking across a thin path, which I see a valve attached to. I turn it gladly. The crow is flipped sideways, walking up to another platform, where I leave it. As I walk across the bridge, the crow caws loudly, startling me.

I stand my ground, but the bird keeps yelling.

Eventually, after nearly a solid minute, I give up. Lightly crying, I run through the dark door in front of me, arriving at the peak of the Spire. Through my tears, I can see the dark blue around me.

I shut my eyes tight.

The monument rotates, allowing me to step across a few platforms, ending up on the other side. I walk across a short path, having to turn the spire even more, climbing onto an elevator-like platform. With another few rotates, I arrive a level higher, almost at the top. It has to be rotated a few more times, in order for some moving blocks to move into the right places at the right times, and one last time to climb up two ladders, but I'm finally done.

With one last turn, I walk across to the lotus, and take off my hat. A hollow pyramid floats out of it, slowly turning above the platform. I look at the shape, then my surroundings.

I break.

I start crying uncontrollably, collapsing onto the lotus, curling up in a tiny ball. Everything I've been through today crashes down onto me. I shouldn't feel so terrible for just going through the monuments!

Or should I?

Maybe it's because I cut myself earlier… No, that can't be it. I always feel better after cutting myself. Whatever it is, I know I deserve it.

As I force myself to sleep, one last thing circles through my mind.

I hate the crows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bird go caw and ida go cry
> 
> -Cinder


	6. The Labyrinth (In which Ida meets the Totem, a friend)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida meets her first and only friend in a long time.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

They're gone.

I'm still here.

Still hurting.

* * *

I wake up in a dark room, very dark in fact. Soft light filters in from someplace above, lightly illuminating the dark blue-green floor. It looks nice, not too bright for me.

Three totems stand on a platform above and forward. Directly in front of me lies a block I can move. There's water next to me, so I can see what I look like when moving things.

I carefully move the wall down, and gasp.

First, my hand is glowing, but I already knew that. But I'm now noticing blue vapor drifting off of it. Secondly, my eyes are glowing the same color, with the same vapor coming out, but less.

The wall is pushed down, and I walk onto it. I study my hand for marks, remnants of fire, but nothing. Interesting.

And yet another thing to add to my weirdness.

I lift the wall I stand on up, reaching a short pathway, which leads to the totems. I walk forwards, stepping across the dark stones. I step up a short staircase, and onto the platform.

All of a sudden, the ground begins to shake.

I freeze up.

Of course. I should never have trusted this. And now I can't even bring myself to move.

I'm a mistake.

I should just bleed myself to death, it's what I deserve, isn't it?

The ground stops shaking.

I'm ok. I'm ok. I have to stop making everything worse than it is.

I'm sitting on top of a bright gold totem, with light blue lines running on it. It has one large eye at the center of the top block, the other three blocks serving as height. It's not moving, so maybe it's friendly?

"hello?" I whisper, voice barely audible for anyone else hearing. I can hear it fine though. Everyone else talks so loud, I must sound so quiet for them. I lean over the side of the totem, looking into it's huge, round eye. I hold my hat in my arms, my hair draping down. The giant eye stares at me, occasionally blinking.

I feel like it's judging me.

I see a few stud-like cylinders on the base two blocks of the totem, and know what I have to do. "you don't mind, do you?" I ask, moving the totem across the platform to a button. The button made the ground rumble once again, before a platform rose far into the air, me and the totem coming with it.

"i'm sorry…" I apologize. Luckily, the totem doesn't seem to care.

* * *

The misty blue fog envelops me and my new partner, as the red-tinted light stings my eyes.

I move the totem onto a button, which instantly depresses beneath it's weight. The thin platform I'm on turns ninety degrees, leading to a place where I can get off the totem. It slides across, and I reluctantly get off, stepping onto another button. Luckily it's only a few feet, and I gladly step back onto the totem.

As I slide across the turned platform, another button enters my view, further away than the last one was. Plus, it looks a bit different, being mostly greenish with orange dots. I walk down the short flight of stairs leading to it, stepping on it, and then turn back.

This button, however, needs me to stay for it to keep functioning.

I move the totem onto the section that moves, and step back onto the button, letting it rise up to the next level. I can move it next to a climbable wall, which I begin to walk over to, scratching the back of my head. I get itchy sometimes, probably because of the heat. This place has been the hottest in the valley so far.

I climb up the pillar, and step back onto the totem's head, patting the top of it. From here, I can make out another pillar, which I slide the totem over to, walking onto the new button carefully. This raises a small bridge up from under the fog, connecting to a small pillar with one of the buttons that stay down when I push them.

I try to ignore the fact that the pillar was right next to the long bridge before.

I don't ignore it.

The totem's pillar rises up, and soon after turns on it's side, being able to slide onto the wall of a nearby platform. I move it next to me, and realize that I'm supposed to use it as a bridge. "sorry…" I say, as I walk across the side of their body.

Once again, it doesn't seem like they care.

I walk through a dark doorway, as the doors close shut behind me. In the darkness, my hand lights up of it's own volition.

I freeze up. This isn't supposed to happen, is it? The passages between doors have never made my powers act up before. As soon as it started, it stops, and I press on.

I step out of the darkened doorway, and look around, the orange light beaming down. There's two ways I could go, but only one leads to the exit. And only one leads to the totem.

I'm picking the totem option.

I walk up to them, and gently put my hands on it's base, apprehensively. It feels comforting to do things like this. It makes me feel safe. They stay still, unmoving, though their eye takes on a look of… Sadness? Is it sad for me? Sad for itself? Does it even like this? It doesn't move, so I hope it does.

It's eye looks pitiful. That's good and bad. I'm thankful that it's ok with me touching it, but I hate when anyone gives me pity.

It just makes me feel like I'm even more worthless than I already am.

Everyone hates me. The ghost hates me. The crows hate me. The other kids in my town all hate me. Even my 'parents' hate me. And now, I'm taking advantage of the only friend I've made.

By crying uncontrollably on them.

My cries make my throat burn, in turn making me cough even more. To my horror, red splashes on their base.

I screw my eyes shut, they hate me now, don't they? I should just leave. There's a hole right to my left, if I wasn't such a coward, I could just... Get rid of the problem.

But they do nothing. Only stand solemnly, a bright yellow beacon for me to hold onto with all of my pathetic amount of strength.

"you hate me…" I whisper. My throat only works enough for tiny whispers anyway. I look up at the totem. The cube at the top, which I guess could be their head, slightly moves.

A slight twist from side to side.

It's shaking it's head.

This only makes me cry harder, burying myself into the surprisingly somewhat soft sentient pillar.

For the first time in what feels like years, a ghost of a smile finds it's way onto my tear-stained face.

* * *

Enough time has been spent waiting, there's a geometry to return. Even though I don't know what it is yet. I don't really want to look right now, anyway.

I spin a valve around, flipping the tall stairway upside down, resulting in a perfectly flat plane. I move Totem onto it, and return the stairway. It's uncomfortable, not having them in sight anymore, but I know they're just underneath. I walk up the stairs, hold still right on the thin ledge, and flip over the stairs again, walking onto Totem's head. I move us over, stepping onto a button, lifting up the bottom platform.

Totem is flipped over yet again.

They must be dizzy.

Can they even be dizzy? "sorry if you're dizzy…" I apologize, still not entirely sure if totems can be dizzy. I walk backwards onto a button that requires me to stay on it, being very careful not to trip.

I've had enough experiences with tripping in this valley.

Turning the valve flips over Totem one more time, letting them depress my button's twin. As both are pressed, light shines out of two holes in the pillar above us.

The ground shakes.

The entire platform we're on sinks into the blue fog.

I start to hyperventilate.

I can't see.

I can't breathe.

I can't move.

The fog begins to clear. I'm on a perfectly straight platform now, Totem on the opposite end.

I can't walk, too nervous. I shakily move them over to me, falling onto their yellow, cubic body.

My breathing evens out.

Was it the fog affecting me, or my own nervousness?

Probably the second option.

I'm too sensitive. Everyone says it. And if everyone says it, why shouldn't I believe it?

I shake my head.

I move Totem to the other side again, and spin the platform. It connects up to another set of two smaller platforms, where I slide Totem onto the left one. It spins back, and I walk across, soon stepping back onto Totem's head. The platform spins again, and I move Totem and myself across soon after. Stepping off, I only walk up a few steps before landing on a button, making another part of the monument rise out of the fog.

Another path, leading back from where I was previously looking, and a giant pillar next to it's middle. The me-leveled part connects up to one of the tiny platforms, the one that Totem started out right next to. I move my hand down, and a part of the pillar comes with it, smoothly coming down to my level. I step on, and raise myself up quickly, throwing my hand above my head.

The feeling it makes in my stomach is strange, yet exhilarating. It's a miracle I didn't throw myself off with the momentum.

I move Totem's platform around, and move them over to the movable segment of pillar, which I put them onto. I step onto their head, move them a small distance over, and walk through a pitch black doorway, feeling this monument's end coming closer.

I just hope Totem's there with me.

* * *

I walk out, and inhale sharply.

I'm faced by a massive ocean, the waves falling over each other like a dance.

I look behind, and gasp yet again.

A massive orange wall, with square-like patterns adorning the area around the sealed door. A small, square pillar lies on a balcony, while two totems stand next to my platform. On top of the small pillar is a long flag, stark white against the sunset orange, a small detail to a beautiful piece of architecture. Anything beyond my small part of the wall is pure orange, perfect and unblemished, no texture or patterns, just flat color as far as the eye can see.

I turn back to the seaside, and sit down next to the lotus.

I've never took the time to just… Look at it. An eight-pointed star, bright orange like the ground beneath it. Inside is another one, but dark orange in contrast. It keeps repeating, to the point where it looks like spiked rings.

I take off my hat. A kind of star-shape comes out, six spikes jutting out of it's six sides. Perhaps there's a cube at the center that acts as it's core? I don't know.

It's still so pretty anyway.

The platform shakes slightly. It begins to slide down. I turn around, just as my platform falls into the sea. The force knocks me over, as I hold onto my hat dearly.

I begin to drift away.

I'm filled with panic.

I don't want to go.

Where will I end up? Will I end up even more lost? Will anyone remember me? Will anyone care?

I try and cry for help, but the word gets caught in my throat.

A small segment of the wall shakes, and shatters.

Totem comes out of it, moving completely on their own, falling into the water below. They start to move towards me, through the waves.

So someone does care about me! I knew it. There's no way everyone could hate me.

...Totem is slowing down… Oh no.

They're getting slower by the second, barely making it through the water.

They're so close.

I can barely brush the top of their head…

And they sink into the water.

I can't get any words out.

My head gets lighter.

The calm water is rippled, as my tears begin to fall.

I'm on the edge of passing out.

I just stare, heartbroken, at where my only friend just sank into the abyss.

My vision is cloudy.

I start to sway.

I fall back onto the lotus, and everything goes dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad ida hours
> 
> -Cinder


	7. The Rookery (In which a throne lies vacant)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida tries to ignore the loss of her only friend. But how long can she take it before she cracks?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I've stolen more.

They've given up on stopping me.

(what would they think of you)

Just a few more to go.

(they're dead because of you)

* * *

I shoot awake, eyes opening in a flash.

All around me is darkness.

I look down. I can see myself perfectly, like I'm the only source of anything within the vast darkness.

All of a sudden, color bursts around me. The blackness is replaced with soft turquoise, and a monument comes into view.

But from a… Different angle.

I'm looking at it from close to the side, so that each square's point faces me. A few different stairways lead up and down, as a dark gray turnable object stands out in the middle. A crow walks along a tiny platform. I spin my finger, and the gray structure follows suit, making a bridge for the crow to walk.

From this angle, the monuments make sense. Well, not really, but more sense than usual. Things line up better, like this is how it's meant to be viewed. The crow walks along, reaching the end of it's path. I quickly turn the structure again, to how it was at first, and it walks along to a button.

The scene vanishes, and I'm back in darkness.

A door's light shines through, and I walk towards it, ending up in the same white monument that I had just seen from the sky.

My initial happiness fades away, as memories of the monument prior come back to me.

I still can't believe they're gone. They might not be dead, they're made of stone, but I might never see them again.

I shake my head. Focus, Ida.

I retrace the steps of the poor crow that's now trapped, but positioning myself in such a way that I end up at the large stairwell. Three crows sit on blocks lining it. I steady my breathing, bounce up and down in place a bit, and run past them.

Well, I don't. I don't have enough energy to run, and I'm not fast enough either. So it's more like speedwalking. Regardless, each crow screams in my ear like a siren, nearly making me fall with the sudden noises.

I reach the top, and take no time in rushing through the doorway, into wherever it may lead.

The sky is orange, fading to red, with fluffy clouds below me. I kneel down, and swipe my hand through one. Some watery droplets stick onto my fingertips.

I giggle, and immediately hit myself. Even though nobody's around to judge me.

I get up, and walk to the edge of a platform. I need to move some gray L-shaped blocks, but how? The sound of footsteps on solid ground catch my attention, and I look up. A crow walks along a movable platform, turning between each end every second. It's right in the path of two pillars opposite each other, each with buttons on their tops. I move it to the right, and it steps on the button.

The gray block turns clockwise, ninety degrees. The button resets as the crow goes back, and the platform is moved once again as the button is triggered.Before it shifts again, I hop on, stopping it after I'm turned two more times. I try the second button now, and that one moves clockwise as well. It's soon right next to me, and I step on just as it turns away, barely able to stop myself from falling off. Another turn, and I can reach a button, stepping off of the platform.

I step onto the button.

Everything shifts.

The monument reforms itself, forming a different puzzle to solve, and a straight pathway to the door. I don't even need to use the second platform, only the first, which I do. Three turns, and I'm there.

I sit in the doorway, looking out, admiring the soft light. It's nice and calming. Nothing up here but me and a quiet crow. It reminds me of the sunrise, that nobody else gets to watch with me.

Nobody else wakes up that early. I don't know why. Are they really that interested in staying up when it's dark? I sleep around an hour at a time, and even I sleep a bit longer when it's night out. Not by too much, though. But I still have to stay awake all through the day, for school. So I usually sleep through lunch and recess to get energy back. I sleep through parts of some classes too.

I'm not bad at school. I get all of my work done before anyone else. So after that's done, which only takes around ten minutes, it's not that hard, I sleep more. It's weird how everyone else takes so long with school. Am I just really fast? Is school supposed to take an hour for each thing? How strange.

I look up at the crow, and make it step on the button three more times, so it's connected with the other platform. That way it can be satisfied with a job well done.

"bye bye." I whisper to the crow, as I cross through the doorway.

* * *

It's raining, the dark clouds crying water on the white and gray monument. Two dark gray structures are connected by chains, looking like the castles in the books that everyone reads.

The bricks are easy to see, like it's older than the other monuments, it's styled after old buildings after all. The chains are long and dark, contrasting with the bright stone they're connected to. Some small stairs stand behind me, leading to where my castle's door will probably end up.

I step onto a button right in front of me (that I missed somehow), and turn back to my castle, which is now at stair's level. Right as I pass the first flight of stairs, it rises back into the air. I turn to my left, and see a crow, walking off of a button of it's own.

I walk back down, eyeing a movable object below. I step off of my button again, and see the crow start to move. The rings on the block glow with blue light, as it moves down. A pillar rises out of the ground in front of the crow, blocking it's path. It turns around, going back to it's spot. It turns around again, heading straight for the pillar. It repeats. I'm right next to the door, and let the pillar down. It makes a beeline for the button, but I bring the pillar straight up at the last second.

The intention was to just trap it on the pillar's top for a bit, but it doesn't really… Do that.

The crow is flung up into the air, landing unceremoniously on it's castle. "sorry!" I cry, at what other people would consider a normal volume.

My throat hurts.

I walk through the door, and end up on top of the monument. Right to my left is another door.

Whoever designed this valley really likes doors. I walk through the second.

* * *

I'm back here again, in this gray void that the ghost lady likes to be in. Next to me is a ladder that I climb easily, and as my climb is finished, I come across a rather strange sight.

Three crows, walking along one of the nonsensical triangles I came across in the very first monument. I walk up to the ghost, and look up at the birds.

"Those who stole our sacred geometry have forgotten their true selves. Cursed to walk these monuments are they." The ghost says.

So the crows had all stolen the geometry from each of the monuments, and never returned them. And since they forgot their 'true selves', does that mean they can't leave? This lady is weird. "Foolish princess, have you forgotten too?" She snarls.

I flinch back.

So I did steal them. I'd already guessed, but confirmation of my horribleness is nice. I walk down the path, on the same level but somehow below, and walk through yet another doorway.

The door opens up, closing behind me after I step through.

All the sky around the monument is a vibrant purple, bright stars twinkling overhead. The monument itself is a light gray, with some white highlights near the top and edges. Right behind me is a tall castle-like structure, dark gray in color, four crows sitting near it's top.

I can feel the monument just waiting to be turned.

And with nowhere else to go along this narrow path, I do. Rotating it a few times angles the stairs in such a way that I can cross to another platform, which in turn leads to another, after one turn back.

I'm getting a little dizzy. I'm used to turning things, but I always did it slowly before.

I walk up the stairs that have moved in front of me, turn to the left, and climb another set. Two more turns lets me get to an orange button, on a long platform that runs parallel to the castle.

Everything's starting to spin, and not in the helpful way.

The stairs and crows are wavy in my vision, swimming back and forth. A red-carpeted segment twists and turns, straightening itself into stairs. I turn back, and fall onto the castle wall. I turn the monument back again, walking up stairs that lead to the castle's peak. Stepping onto the long stairway, the monument is turned a final time.

Something feels… Wrong. Not in the monument, it's fine, but inside me. Like something's stuck in the back of my throat. My stomach rumbles. It's been days since I've eaten anything. I don't have to eat as much or as frequently as everyone else, but nearly a week without food is still worrying to me.

I walk up the red carpet, stepping onto the orange button. The crows caw as I move past, of course. It doesn't help with my nausea. But at least they have the courtesy to be more melodic about it. I slowly rise double my height, and sit down on the lotus. Taking off my hat, another shape floats out, an octahedron. Just like the Water Temple's, but only a white outline.

My legs hang over the back of the lotus. That feeling in my throat gets worse. It feels terrible, like bubbling liquid slowly rising up, and like the place around my heart is burning.

I jerk forwards, cupping a hand over my mouth. What is this? I've never had this happen before, at least that I can remember. My mouth is getting hot. I leave it open, the air cooling the inside of my mouth. I abruptly shut it again, hand back over it, as the feeling worsens. Of course that made it worse. I clap my other hand over it, as I rock back and forth. I can't take it. There's a terrible taste in the back of my throat. A stab of pain attacks my stomach. I unclasp my hands, holding both my arms over my belly.

The terrible feeling reaches it's peak, as I open my mouth, and a stream of viscous liquid spews out. Small chunks and blood streak through the stuff, as it's shot over the edge. It tastes and feels wrong, like thick acid and blood. I start panting, and it happens again. More of it splatters into wherever's possibly below me. It happens one more time, but this time I force my mouth shut.

That was a mistake.

I start gagging, and quickly spit it out, liquid and blood falling from my mouth. Miraculously, none of it got on me. Except on my face, which I wipe off. I groan, lying down on the platform.

What was that? Was it meant to happen? I think I read about something like this in a book once… What was the name? Vomiting, that's what it was.

I clutch my stomach with both arms, as it growls softly. I really need to eat something, but I doubt there's anything here that's edible.

I shut my eyes, forcing the feeling of what had just happened to the back of my mind. My nausea makes it too hard to sleep.

I just look out, clutching my stomach, until I eventually pass out from exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, ida has thrown up before, but it was when she was like 4
> 
> let me have this
> 
> also i haven't thrown up in a while so if i got the description slightly wrong shut up i'm not making myself vomit for the sake of a fanfic about monument valley
> 
> -Cinder


	8. The Box (In which there lie strange delights)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida has some thoughts.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

One left.

This one will be the best, I know it.

I know it.

* * *

It's dark everywhere.

It's so dark.

I can feel the ground beneath me, right where I lay, having only woken up seconds before. I can feel multiple things I can move. I move one of them, to my bottom left.

I get that same feeling that I get whenever I shoot myself up on a platform. I try the bottom right.

Same feeling.

I try my top right. No feeling this time. Finally, I try my top left.

As light fills the space that I'm in, everything unfolds with a ceiling that's now a wall. Light blue pathways zigzag around a cuboid space, two exits and a button in my line of sight. I look around me, out of this box that I've found myself in.

The Box. That's a good name for this monument. Beyond the box, there's absolutely nothing. Just an empty, white abyss.

Like the ones I have nightmares about being lost in.

I quickly scurry to the button, noticing a light blue shine from above as it depresses. A small tower has lit up. I can just barely see the outline of two more, each at a corner of the box. I assume I have to light four to move on.

I decide to sit on the box's edge, taking in the surroundings of nothingness.

It's peaceful.

It's perfectly calm.

And yet, it's still breathtakingly, paralyzingly terrifying.

What will I do if this is my journey's end? Will I just walk around the white emptiness until I die of hunger or thirst? No, that kind of death is far too slow for me. Just slowly getting weaker and weaker, as any meager scraps of energy in my body are burnt up just to keep my eyes open for a little longer.

I don't want to go through that.

Maybe I'll go insane, and die laughing hysterically, finding my inescapable torture the most hilarious thing in the world.

No, I don't want to go through that either.

Why am I even thinking of all these horrible ways for me to die?

I'm not even a teenager yet.

I stretch, stepping back onto the light blue structure with some difficulty, and step through the lower door.

* * *

It's dark again. I shut the blue side, and try to open the top right part.

A yellow monument unfolds, looking like a fork, leading to three separate paths from the wall I'm on. I walk through the door on the other side of me, past the middle path that I can't access.

Through the doorway, and I'm right in the middle, stepping onto the path that I couldn't get to before. There's a button, which I press, and that lights up a yellow beacon on the box's lid, as well as a light beneath me.

I suppose that's to tell me that it really did work. I turn back, heading through the doorway, and ending up back on the wall.

I sit down on the wall, legs hanging over the lid's side. If I fell off, what would happen? Would gravity get normal again? It always resets when I step on a ramp. Would I just fall forever, rushing past the ground that would be useless to me? How long could I fall before I killed myself out of terror?

I shouldn't keep thinking about things like this.

I stand up, debating for a small amount of time whether to jump off, and walk through the door that brought me to the yellow place.

* * *

Back in the dark, I try opening the bottom left.

I decide to leave it open for a little bit, expose whatever's in there to the cool air. I move something that's in there up and down just for fun a few times, and then close it.

I open the light blue area back up, and walk through the top door this time, opening up the bottom right.

This part is bright green, with a crow constantly walking between a wall and a button. It's turning a long platform around and around, which I step onto. The button is pressed again, and I can reach my own button now. I speedwalk across, tripping as the platform jerks away, leaving my legs dangling into the dark void below me.

I panic, kick my legs, and eventually get myself fully onto the button's platform. I walk to the button before the crow even gets a chance to scream at me. A tower near me quickly shines green, as the box closes.

And I'm back in the dark.

I can't feel any of the things I could move before, they're all nonfunctional now. What I can feel is myself (thankfully), and something I can turn.

I elect to hug myself first.

I wrap my arms around my own body, and slowly rock myself in my arms. I fall over, only to find that the pitch-black place I'm in has a soft ground. I roll around on the floor, still wrapped in my own hug, before I lay spread out on the ground, like a starfish.

I raise my hand, and spin my finger around, turning whatever it is I have to turn. Something obviously moves, as I can't turn it anymore, and another thing appears I can move. As I move it up, that power fizzles away, and there's another valve. Another spin of the finger, and it's unresponsive. But there is something I can turn, only it's completely unrelated to the first few. I turn that, and I can't move anything anymore, except for myself.

I stand, stretch again, and walk through the brightened doorway that's now in front of me.

* * *

The box has opened up completely, the walls fallen to the ground, now acting as brown floors. Above me still lies the box's lid, and likely where the lotus is.

But to my left, is something magical.

A perfect cube of water, four orange fish swimming through it.

And the best part is that it has no barrier.

I reach into the water, waving my hand around. To my surprise, a fish swims up! It takes a few nibbles at my hand, and then swims away in a hurry. I giggle lightly.

I don't hit myself for doing it this time.

I walk along my linear pathway, sweeping my hand through the water as I do so. A turn to the right, the left, and the left again, lets me step onto a small platform, holding only a button. I walk down the seven tiny stairs, and press the button below my meager weight.

Tiles on the opposite side from me flip up, hovering in the air, leading to another button. As I walk to it, my hand swishes through the fish tank again, not a drop falling out of the cubed shape it's in.

Across the narrow path, and onto the button. The wall… Or is it ground now?... I don't know. The fallen wall flips over completely, revealing a set of large blocks and a stairway that I can walk across. I step over them, careful not to trip on the stairs, and head through the doorway.

Inside the blackness, I feel myself rising up, before a second set of doors open. I'm on the section that had the first button, but transformed into a cluttered mess, with barely any space for me to walk around. A few steps, and a button is pressed, as the clutter rises out of this section's center.

That's better.

I walk up the tall stairs, and look down. Beneath is just darkness. I don't want to fall off. What fate would I encounter if I fell?

Some things I'd prefer not to know.

Up the stairs and cross the path, another button sinks to the ground. The second part of the tall stairwell rises and turns, letting me step on yet another button. Up this set, and on the switch, which drops a ramp down. I step onto it, gravity sticking me to the wall, and press the presumably final button. My tiny platform turns upright.

Before walking through the doorway, I sit down. There's so many mysteries about this monument in particular. The biggest being where it even is! Maybe it's in a… What's that called… "pocket duh-men-soon?" Maybe one of those. Could I wander so far I'd never find this box again?

Ugh. Ida, stop thinking about these things! Why is it this specific place that brings out my existential dread and worryingly creative ways I could die? What's dying even like? There are plenty of things I've heard. My parents say that if you're good, you get to go to paradise, and if you're bad, you end up in hell.

They always say I'll be in the latter.

Some people at school say that you just wander around a giant field forever, or an ocean or maze. Some kind of infinite plane. Just like here… No. I'm not dead. I know that.

I've heard a few grown-ups say that there's just nothing after death.

I don't like that one. I like it even less than the hell option.

I sit up straight, and get to my feet. I'm hyperventilating.

Out comes my knife.

Cut.

Cut.

Cut.

Cut.

Cut.

My breathing's fine. My knife disappears back below my dress.

I walk through the door, and I'm right next to the lotus, on the box's lid. There's a button right in front of me. "bye, box." I say. The button is pressed.

Everything resets.

The tower collapses back in on itself, the flipped over pathway flips over again. Walls fold back up. The wall I came out of descends. Finally, as the finale, the inner part of the box's lid raises up. I step forth, taking my hat off.

A blue glow, this time a dodecahedron, a twelve-sided shape.

I don't pass out by choice.

My splitting headache does that.

I screech, blood being flung onto the box, as I fall onto the lotus, clutching my head.

My stomach growls. I'm running out of energy. I need to find something to eat soon, if I don't want to die.

The last thought running through my mind before I faint, is wondering if I could have eaten one of those bright orange fish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> best level in the game don't @ me
> 
> -Cinder


	9. Interlude: The Drift (In which there is no monument, no geometry, only Ida and her thoughts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it isn't a monument, then what even is it?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It's perfect.

It's more than I could ever ask for.

And the time is almost up.

* * *

I wake up to the sound of rain.

My eyelids slowly flutter open, vision swimming from the soft rocking sensation beneath me. I straighten my legs against a wall behind me, arms helping balance as I stand up.

I'm miraculously not wet, protected from the rain by a tiny ledge. My vision is still blurry, as my stomach growls loudly.

I'm starving. I haven't eaten in nearly a week, and I'm getting weaker by the day.

I stretch my arms above my head. It's storming hard, countless sheets of rain falling from the blanket of dark gray clouds. I flatten myself against the wall, looking to my left and right.

It's the wall of a cabin, with a lantern swinging from above the wooden door. I slip in, away from the rain, and shut the door with a thud.

I'm in a small room, with a desk in the middle, a soft-looking chair behind it, and trinkets lining the walls. A lot of the trinkets look familiar, like all the geometry I've been collecting, but golden and floating above platforms of the same color. Other things include bottles of the weird stuff my parents drink, some shells, and a metal triangle stuck in the back of a bug-looking thing.

On the very edge of one is a glass bottle of water, which I instantly pour down my throat. Most other people have to eat or drink a lot more than I do. It's weird how my body is so different then everyone else's, but we're still the same species.

Are we?

Probably.

The water is gone, and I set the bottle down in favor of a gray umbrella. Out the door, and I start shivering. I didn't notice how warm it was in the cabin until I was out of it.

I open the umbrella, shielding me from the monsoon, and walk across the deck. Now that I'm more awake, it looks like a stereotypical pirate ship, though with no flag at the top. The steering wheel is right above the cabin, which probably belonged to the captain. I can see stairs, and follow them below the deck, opposite from the building I had just left.

Below deck, it's warm once again, and lanterns swing from the ceiling. More importantly, I can smell food. I don't waste time thinking of why there's food down here, and rush past the eerie-looking iron cells.

The boat opens up into a large-ish room, with a small table and chair in the middle, perfectly my size.

On the table is a geometrical slice of some kind of pie, and a glass of milk.

I don't care what's in it.

I just need it.

I sit down hurriedly, pick up the slice with my hands (I would have just ignored cutlery anyway), and start eating. After a week of no food at all, it tastes wonderful. The flavors mix together in my mouth, before ending up in my stomach shortly after. It's gone in no time, and the milk follows. 

It's nice actually eating for the first time in a while. I should figure out how to sneak food out of the fridge more quietly. It hurts a lot whenever I don't. Like my stomach is being stabbed with an old stick.

I slide the chair back, and step off of it. I turn around, spinning on my right foot, and walk back to the stairs. I want to look at the sea for a bit. Up the stairs and out the deck, as I open my umbrella again. I look up. There's a little wooden cup at the top of the… Mast, where I could sit. I don't want to. I'm not too afraid of heights, as long as my feet are on the ground.

But I don't like long ladders.

I walk up the stairs leading to the wheel. I sit down next to it, umbrella propped up against my shoulder, and let my mind wander.

* * *

I don't fit in my little town.

I'm so different from everyone else, I just feel like I'm not meant to be there.

Well, everyone there isn't entirely human, but I'm not weird in that way. People have things like cat ears, tails, different colored or shaped eyes, sometimes even wings, but they never seem to fly with them.

I'm one of the only ones there that look purely human, and even I have some weird bits.

My pale silver eyes always seem to freak out everyone who looks at them too long. I do stare a lot.

One time I went half an hour without blinking once.

That was in school, looking over at everyone running around during recess. I finally blinked after somebody waved their hand in my face. It was probably for the best.

Nobody's sleep schedule is as weird as mine. Nobody else sleeps for a few hours at a time, only to stay up for a few hours as well.

I'm obsessed with collecting shiny things, I have a wide variety of coins, old keys, and jewelry at home. I'm also obsessed with perfect shapes, like the ones in this valley.

Guess that's why I stole them.

I've had a calling every time I return one, to snatch it back and keep it forever. But I shouldn't do that.

Only bad people would do that.

I look out at the rain, imagining that it's snow. It never snows in my town. I don't even know what snow looks like. Just that it's white stuff falling from the sky that makes piles.

Like sawdust.

But whiter.

There's an instrument next to me, I must have sub-con-sus-ly taken it from the captain's room. It's a violin. I set it on my shoulder, and play for a bit. I always wanted to take music lessons at school, but my parents wouldn't let me. It didn't stop me from teaching myself.

The unique sound calms me, when combined with the rain. I yawn. It's making me sleepy too. I lean against the wall, and shut my eyes.

I hope the next monument will be one of my last.

But at the same time, I never want this place to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> made up location time
> 
> also ida eats a thing yeeeeeeeeeeeee
> 
> -Cinder


	10. The Descent (In which there is no one left to forgive us)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end is fast approaching. Is Ida ready to go back?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock. Tick.

Tock. Tick.

Tock.

CRASH.

* * *

It's still raining. I'm curled up tight, trying to hide myself from the cold, hard droplets.

Shivering, I slowly push myself to my feet, trying my hardest to not slip against the rocky ground. Salty water sprays up into my face, while I walk up a small flight of stairs. I spot a large, scarlet flower, and instantly bend down to pick it up.

Snatching it off of the ground, I swipe off my hat, and stuff it inside, putting it back on my head.

I walk back down the stairs, as the ocean appears to recede at my footsteps, never letting me truly touch the ocean. I continue walking down, more stairs appearing as I go, taking a ladder in between a few. A tingly feeling alerts me to a valve, which I spin easily. A ladder-indented pillar rises up, allowing me to press a button on the top. The monument turns, and I spot something poke up out of the water.

Something gold, with light blue stripes running across it's top.

Wait…

C-Could that be…

It is.

I practically jump off the pillar, rushing over to the friend I thought I'd lost. Spinning the valve once, again, and one more time, the stormy skies clear up to blue. I climb a ladder as fast as I can, tears falling onto the ground. With one more spin, and moving the pillar of four golden blocks to me, I collapse on Totem's top, hugging the edges of their top cube tightly.

I don't bother suppressing my happiness, crying and laughing as loud as I can. I mean, there's nobody to hear me but Totem, right?

…Oh no, what if they're angry with me?

I'm crying on the head of my only friend, cutting my arms from holding them so tight. I flick my finger forwards, Totem zooming forwards, and pry myself off of them.

"i-i'm s-s-sorry!!" I cry, running into the blackened doorframe.

* * *

"FUCK! YOU IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY WITH THEM!?!?"

I cry into my arm, biting into it. Hard. Blood drips down my teeth.

I don't care. I can't control anything.

My throat is hurting, a few scarlet drops spitting out. I scratch at the walls, and dig into my skin. My dress is stained with water and blood.

I slam at the ground. I take out my knife, stabbing it into my other arm. It hurts. It hurts so bad.

I can't handle anything.

I scream as loud as I can. It hurts my ears. It hurts my throat. It…

It...

It stops.

My eyes go wide.

My mouth is still open, but no sound comes out. I try to say something. Nothing.

…

Then the liquid comes. 

I vomit, not water or food, but pure blood.

I'm scared.

I'm so scared.

I don't want this to happen.

I curl up on myself, shivering hard, hand on the knife stuck in my arm. I have to get rid of this.

Not yet, though. I'm not that stupid.

Did it stop? Has the blood stopped flooding out of my mouth?

It has.

I push myself up, keeping my arm close to my body. I don't want to do that again. Ever.

I never scream, why did I do it now? This was the only time I just…

Snapped.

Even when I got abused, I always kept quiet. What is it about this that made me break? 

...

...

...

…I have a monument to finish.

It's orange, looking like the inside of an inverted pyramid. I slide out a platform, using a ring to control it's movement.

Woo… More brain-melting. I think I'm starting to get un-used to all of this. Strange. And not good.

I walk across the floor, hop down a tiny staircase, and walk across a studded platform that I move up to meet my feet. Down a ladder, and across the platform moved back down, there's something to spin. Spinning it once, I can get to a small platform, and spinning it back, I press a button. Three individual pillars pop up out of the ground, making a tiny walkway. But a walkway nonetheless.

Back down the spinny platform, I spin it a few times absentmindedly, before settling on where it needs to go. I wonder why I can't spin it while I'm on it? It works just fine with the crows. Across I go, bringing up the platform to meet me, and climb down a short ladder.

Another small flight of stairs, and hopping across some bricks that I spin for flavor (every time I jump off, of course), and I begin climbing down another ladder, not giving a care about just how I'm going to get out again.

The monument's color is wiped away, replaced by grayscale and falling dust.

I take my time now, holding up my hands to the sparse candles, somehow lit by an unknown person.

Past a bend in the road, then another.

The soft light is calming, even in this dungeon-like climate.

I step on a button, walk across to another, and press down on a third, dust poofing up from the ground as I do so. I cough. A little space of wall isn't so monochrome anymore.

Walking across, I press on a final button, and descend about three times my height. All these monuments are getting repetitive now. The same things, staircases to buttons, nonsensical geometry, a sense of something, but I can't tell what. More stairs to walk down.

Now's a good a time as any to get rid of this knife in my arm.

I grip the hilt, and freeze up. I'm not ready for this.

But then again, I can't just not be ready for it either.

I take out a roll of bandages from the inside of my dress. It's useful to store stuff in there.

The only reason I can sew is because I wanted more pockets. It's helpful for stitching things up too. Like my dress. And my a…

And my…

Oh no, I'm gonna have to stitch my arm up, aren't I? I hate thin things going into my skin. Needles, mosquitos, splinters, it's just… I can't think about it too long.

I tighten my grip. Now or never.

With a surge of panic, I yank the knife out of my flesh.

And scream.

It hurts so much more than I could ever imagine. Blood sprays out of both my arm and mouth. Every touch of cold air is agony.

I can't move that arm.

I crash onto the hard ground in pain, screaming filling the halls with unbearable noise.

I'm dying. I have to be.

B-but I don't wanna die! W-why am I so scared of it now?

You useless girl!

Just deal with it, and die!

I slam the ground. My voice goes silent once more.

I'm not scared of much. Except for needle-like things, but that's more of a disgust. But now, with my voice gone, and fluid building up in my throat?

I'm terrified.

I have to move. Have to distract myself from the buildup of blood.

I run down the stairs, red flicking off from my damaged arm, spinning a series of stairs in panic. I don't get them right. It's fine. I'm across anyway.

I'm halfway through a long hallway, when it all comes flooding out.

I'm lightheaded, and screaming in silence. Blood pools around me, staining my dress and skin with it's color. I don't even have the energy to move. I just curl in on myself, letting it flow out of my mouth like a river.

It stops.

It's over.

I get up. Slowly.

Through the hallway, and slowly I creep onto a thin platform. It begins to move down. I feel myself getting sick again. I'm gonna do it again, I just kno-

...what? What is… That? It's…

Beautiful.

It's a pure white girl, with wings of light and a shining crown. I bow to it, whatever it is.

The strangest thing is that it bows back.

I recoil in shock. It does too.

It can't be a mirror, but what if it is? But I don't look like that. Me, dried blood on my dress, dripping down from my arm and mouth, the same as that girl I can only describe as perfect?

I giggle at the thought. So does she.

I begin to walk across. She does too. Only now I notice she's floating, knees curled up a tiny bit, but winged arms moving with mine. I move the block stopping her path down, and she does the same for me.

I walk further, onto a tiny extension.

I can touch her now. And she can touch me.

I reach my hand out. She reaches her hand out. Our fingers touch.

This thing can't be a mirror, can it? Mirrors can't feel so… Lifelike. Warm. Soft. She's everything I could ever desire to be, but aren't. Something to aspire to, something to want to be, and…

Why is my face hot?

Why does my tummy feel weird?

Oh god, am I really attracted to myself?

Well… Past me would definitely be attracted to bird me so I suppose it's not too weird...

Nevermind, it's still very, very weird.

Before I go, I lean my face in. Maybe it'll pull back, or disappear, or-

Smack. My lips collide with hers.

I stay there for a few seconds, taking in the warmth, feeling shivers go up my body.

I pull away, pale skin flushing red. She copies my every move.

I walk to the end of the bridge, and begin a long climb down a giant ladder. What a thrill, huh? My first kiss with another girl, and it was with myself. I can't believe it. Am I really so narcissistic? Nah. She looked so different, we might as well have been different people.

Blushing, I walk down some more stairs, seeing a familiar blue glow.

Sigh.

I walk over to her, readying for some kind of berating. "Long ages lie heavy on old bones in these buried halls. Sacred geometry was our pride, our downfall." She said, melancholically.

I tensed. Some line about 'foolish princess', or something along those lines.

She sighed. "But forever will our monuments stand in this valley." She said. It had a weight to it, and a hint of pride. And finality. I walked away, looking back.

But nothing.

Gone.

She's never left before.

I walk down the last few stairs, and ride a descending platform a hundred feet down. The rest of the platform comes with. It's dark around.

But not for long.

Light illuminates the finale of this monument, lighting up what must be thousands of coffins all around. I walk up to a raised one. I know what to do. I take off my hat, and pick out the flower.

Perfectly undamaged from my meltdowns up above.

I lay it, silently, on the coffin. My eyes are heavy. I lean against the rectangular sarcophagus, and fall into beautiful sleep.

Somehow, some way, I know the next monument will be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ida says the fuck word, the chapter
> 
> also ida does a kiss and i was uncomfortable writing that part but i wanted to do it anyway
> 
> -Cinder


	11. The Observatory (In which, at journey's end, what was not meant for us is all returned)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end.
> 
> It's time to leave the valley.

Bong.

Bong.

Bong.

Bong.

Bong.

Bong.

Bong.

Bong.

Bong.

Bong.

* * *

It's silent. It's also dark. But with just enough light to make it to my liking.

Opening my eyes, the final monument stands before me. One last magical shape in my hat to return, but I don't know what it is yet.

The monument resembles a hollow cube, sitting above perfectly still water. All around is a dark sky, a stripe of pink representing sunset. And stars dot everything that I can't touch.

I walk up the wall, savoring the cool air. This might be the last place I can do things like this.

Ah… I'm going to miss this once I'm back home. Will it even feel like home when I get there? I hope so, but at the same time I don't. I have all my stuff there! I can't leave all my shinies! But then again… My parents… Maybe I could just… Leave? Ugh, I shouldn't be thinking about this. There's time for that later.

I spin my segment of wall, hopping off as it comes to a halt, and walk into the doorway.

My surroundings are green. It's darker towards the top, and lighter at the bottom. Weird.

Oh, I'm also standing on the side of the wall again.

I try to pull the studded, dark gray structure, but nothing. I twist my hand, and the ends each spin in opposite directions. So does a connecting beam that I can use. I walk across the newly-made beam, looking out into the green abyss.

This monument feels unfinished. Like it's only a fragment of something more. But judging from all the debris floating around, whatever it was a part of is long gone.

Actually, now that I look around, where even am I? I've never questioned the geography much. I could see the Water Palace from the Spire, but I never looked for anything else. Where's this? Just this place in general, the first place included. Space, maybe? But then how can I breathe? More importantly, why am I questioning the valley?

It does what it wants, and it definitely looks like physics are scared.

I turn the top, letting me walk down a different side, and take the long road to the doorway. My eyelids start to droop. I've gotten as much sleep as usual, so…

Ah. I know why.

I don't usually just keep walking this long.

I need a few days to just sit down, organize my shinies, cut my arm a bit, calming stuff like that.

Through the door, and I end up on level ground. I spin the thing above me, sandwiched between two pillars, yet somehow still able to move. At the same time, I'm nearly thrown off the edge. I stop it, skidding across the floor.

I don't want to restart this monument. Plus, I doubt I'd even survive the fall.

If there's even an end to the fall.

I walk through the door, and spin the structure again, anding up on the same plane as the button. It depresses easily. Everything reforms, and there's now a door in front of me, with a yellow light.

Wait, was that there before? Did I not see it? Did it really just appear like that? Well, no matter.

One step closer to the end.

* * *

Back in the central cube. I can see three spotlights on one of the walls, one lit up yellow. Two left? Probably.

I walk up onto a red-painted segment, and spin it around. Back on the outside wall, I walk across a stretch of gray, before walking forwards onto a blue segment.

Spin.

Down a ramp.

Spin.

Onto a red patch.

Spin.

Door.

Aaah, even my self-narration is getting boring! I guess it was inevitable, how long could I really keep up describing walking in interesting ways?

Through the door, and out again.

The sky above is orange, the sky below teal. This part of the monument is a vibrant purple, more shattered pieces floating about. I hear a caw.

Sigh.

And a column of three doorways.

Well, time to throw up again.

I spin myself around the middle, switching my position to the other side, going through the door. I'm up a layer, and I turn it again. The doorway up is in the center this time, easy to walk through. Up another layer. My stomach feels-no.

No.

I can't deal with this again.

But I have to spin more.

Onto the center, and another spin, into the doorway again.

I can't hold it in.

On the top layer, I hold my tummy, and vomit over the edge.

Bloody, watery puke floods out of my mouth.

And I'm crying.

I spin the center, step on the button, and run into the doorway.

* * *

Purple. Blue. Gray. Spinning.

Head hurts.

Tummy hurts.

Wanna go home.

One more door.

Bright blue backdrop, bright orange monument.

Now my eyes hurt too.

Spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning.

I run across the stairs and ramps, spitting out blood every step of the way.

Into the door.

Out in the middle.

Purple.

Gray.

Purple.

Gray.

Spinning spinning spinning spiNNING SPINNING

* * *

It's done.

The last pathway is complete.

I can't bear to walk another one of these things any longer.

I crawl across the cold, hard ground. The blood is making me slip.

I take off my hat, and open it to the lotus. A multi-angled star spins out, floating above.

I don't have any energy left.

My grip goes slack, and my hat tumbles into the abyss.

My head falls hard, and my vision goes black.

* * *

I awake.

My head hurts.

My vision's swimming.

It's cold.

And dark.

And I'm scared.

Light? Anything?

Am I d-dead?

The only thing below me is a smoking, blue cube, and a large, temple-like structure with four sides.

Something gleams, and I squint. The geometry I just returned. Another gleam, and it's the flower. More and more show up, the white structure falling apart around me.

Ten sides? But I just saw four…

My cube lands on gray ground, soft light emanating from me.

I hear footsteps.

A crow?

More footsteps. And more. A group of crow people walk up to me.

I brace myself for the noise.

But nothing comes.

My dark surroundings melt into blue, the sky taking on a turquoise tone far above. The crows look up. The light looks like it's… Pulsing? Is that the right word? Maybe-

oh my god a crow just turned red.

It shed it's black feathers, growing wings where there was a previous lack of arms. I never noticed that before. Maybe to keep them from escaping? But then, who would want them here?

The crow begins to fly, flapping in the air above. I wish I could fly like that…

Light shines down on another. A flash of light, and it's gold. Beams of light descend, the crow's pupils shrinking, before they inevitably turn multicolor. It's a rainbow of birds, all floating above.

And me still stuck below, on my little cube.

The light stops pulsing, the surroundings go dark once again. A bright white object begins to fall, looking like…

My hat!

With the outline of a crown at it's base. I lift my arms up to it, waiting for it to plop right on my dark-haired head. A few more seconds…

Bang.

A whoosh of air explodes from my body, and I feel different.

Magical.

But what's diff-

I have wings now!?

I marvel at the glowing white feathers that adorn my arms. I flap experimentally.

It works.

I keep flapping, rising up to meet the crows. Not a single one caws.

I look up, ready myself, take a deep breath, and fly.

* * *

The golden sun beams down on the valley, lighting up the mountains blue.

I fly as high as I can, the crows following me in a flock.

I twist and turn, taking dives through the mountain peaks.

I have to let out a soft laugh. I haven't felt this happy in what must have been a year.

The crows scatter, leaving me alone. They have their own homes to go to.

And I have mine.

At this point, is that place really home? I take one last look at the valley.

I have somebody to say goodbye to.

I fly down, rushing through monuments that I've never seen, and come to a stop in one.

A gilded pillar, with blue highlights, and two big, round eyes.

"totem!" I cheer, loud as I can bear.

So still not that loud.

I hug the giant yellow pillar, rubbing my face against it. I fly up to their face.

"totem, i'm gonna go home now. i'll come back, i promise!" I whisper, sitting on their head. It bounces up and down a few times.

A nod?

I hope.

"bye bye!" I say, and take flight once again.

Out of the valley I go, gliding across the countryside mountains that I've only seen from a distance.

Everything looks so small from up here.

I scan for my little town, it should be riiiight…

There.

I glide down, making a soft thump on the grass. There's no car here.

Nobody's home. That's good.

I slowly open the door, making sure nobody's here. Right, they said they were going for a trip a few days ago, didn't they? I walk up the stairs, after closing the door behind me. The overfurnished living room peeks out of the corner of my eye. I never liked that room.

Mine's the best.

I practically run into my room, barely remembering to messily slam the door closed.

I look down. My wings aren't glowing anymore. But still there.

I like myself a lot more like this.

I take a look around my room. Origami hangs from the ceiling, my multiple collections of shiny trinkets adorn the shelves, and a small sink lies in the corner. My parents had it installed for me, something about not wanting me near their stuff.

Thanks I guess?

Out of habit, I wave my hand at the sink's valve. It sparks. Typical. I lie on my bed, and...

Sparks…

Those sparks were blue.

I concentrate.

A dim blue glow shines from the valve.

Looking hard, I spin my finger.

It turns.

I do a small fist pump in victory.

But now, I need sleep. In a real bed.

I trace my finger across my hugging pillow. I have two pillows. One for my head, and one to hug.

I bring it into my arms, and hold it there. I take off my dress and shoes, leaving only my black underdress on. I pull up the covers (probably should have taken my shoes off before I got in bed).

I might sleep as long as a normal human, I'm so tired.

I think about the valley.

All the monuments that I explored.

I close my eyes, and drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading the whole thing (i hope)! i'll be doing forgotten shores later, but i have something completely different up next
> 
> also: the dialogue when ida falls asleep is different for every chapter
> 
> there are eleven chapters, and ten different lines of dialogue
> 
> try to find which ones are the same!
> 
> -Cinder


End file.
